"there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly"

TR

I spent a really long time shopping in the past week looking for something to buy. I went to Urban and saw these dandly little inspirational books that don't really have any meaning except to make the reader feel better and then enable them to sit around feeling great while they do absolutely nothing. It was kind of ironic that I read this quote when I got back onto the internet when I came home from the Galleria, as here I was, unable to really do anything (exercise) because of my damn knee and not 'knowledgeable' enough of 'experienced' enough to achieve anything right now. But within me, and everyone really, is the greatest ability of them all, potential. we hear it all the time, and let it go to waste. Our untapped potential. We sit at home playing games, doing nothing, thinking in our classes as we fall asleep what we want to be, what we really want to do. Do we ever do it?

So this year was really a waste. Don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed it and I love everyone who took part in making this year as awesome as it was. But really, what do I get out of it? This summer, I'll get this great feeling of satisfaction as I help a kid learn english or physics or poetry or tai chi or soccer or something. It'll be awesome. But then I'll think about the Genocide that is happening in Darfur, the Serbian war that happened a few years ago, the failure of the world to do anything against the modern crimes of our time. And what have i really accomplished. I need to expend all my effort to achieving a higher goal. I need to find that goal.

We humans, we feel powerless against anything not within our control. But is really anything in our control? Look at the stock market plunge, a computer error which cost companies millions of dollars. Look at Greece. Look at the UN, a entity that aims to keep peace but cannot even prevent genocide. Everything that man has created are tools that have gone above us. Do we really understand our governments? Our people? Our businesses? Do we understand how it all works and is put together? Even if we do, can we control it?

Each day, as I was taught (without my control), I set a new goal for myself. This year, due to things not within my control and some things that are arguably in my control, I have failed myself. Time and time again.

What have we really learned from all this? Nothing. We still see ourselves for who we think we are. Our perceptions, those lies that our brain feeds us to keep itself satisfied, deceives us and causes conflict between people. And through this conflict, nations tense as they see war in the future. And the people who make up the nations our blinded, blinded by the very entities that they think protect them. The UN. The Media. The Governments of each Nation. They are all out for their own personal interest, created by mankind's unsuppressed greed and fueled by the ignorance of the masses.

I seek in life only to center myself. To isolate myself from this madness so that I may heal others and bring them away from this cycle of chaos. But only if I can control myself.